In many cases, Nautilus (although I am not limiting my critique to this brand) machines cause more harm than good to their users – ultimately accomplishing the opposite of the desired effect. One major reason people use these machines for is that they are afraid to get hurt using free weights. Perhaps they have had an injury from a sport and want to rehab, or perhaps they have been taught that Nautilus machines are the way to go. Either way, they are wrong. Using light (very light) free weights can be beneficial to injuries because it helps to develop the tiny support muscles around all of your joints, and to regain the stability associated with them because of the tiny variations in the range of motion that one uses when using dumbbells.

But why don’t you get the same effect from a Nautilus machine using equally light weights? The reason is because the Nautilus machine locks you into one range of motion (a straight line) and takes out the variability of the exercise, not sending the message that the body needs to build those tiny stabilizer muscles. Our bodies weren’t meant to push something in a straight line, with our hands locked in the same position. In every lift with a free weight, there is, at the very least, a slight curve to the path that the weight takes. It is natural. Nautilus machines take out that natural curve and force the body into an unnatural motion path, placing more strain on the joints, and less on the muscles.

Another reason that people use a Nautilus machine is that it gives them the idea that they are stronger than they really are. It is a lot easier to try to do 100lbs of anything on a Nautilus machine than it is using the equivalent free weight exercise. Because you have to use less muscles to get the weight moving, it appears that the weight is lighter. However, this “strength” is non transferable to any other aspect of life unless you happen to be strapped in, locked into a specific motion path. Don’t believe me? Do your 3 rep max for bench on a Nautilus machine, take a few minutes to recuperate, and try to get the same weight benching a bar. I hope you have a spotter, because if not, you’re going to be left there with a loaded bar on your chest.

Bottom line: Nautilus machines are here to stay. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be become a victim. Regardless of your fitness goals, free weights are better. Now it’s just a matter of manning up, and getting it done. As always, feel free to email me with questions and concerns at cameron@cavallere.com. Happy Lifting (even to that yuppie in loafers using the Nautilus machine as we speak).

The album, aptly titled www.souljaboytellem.com (no doubt a tribute to the viral marketing which spun a DeAndre Cortez Way into the stratosphere of 15 minute fame) is filled with such meaningless tripe as “Booty Meat,” and “Pass It to Arab”. The musical quality, to say the least, is atrocious. If you are looking for a candidate for the worst album of all time, look no further. If you are a musical masochist and wish to gouge your ears with some of the worst sounds ever recorded in history, please download this album. And if you are a delinquent, suburban, white, almost-failing 17 year old high school football player with no sense of musical taste, the CD is probably in your deck right now.

“Crank That” is by far the best song on the album. Without a doubt, it’s a smashing success as a party/drinking/dance/ringtone style hit. It features a steel pan intro, a brand new dance, derogatory comments aimed at women (Superman dat ho?), and set of rather lyrically empty verses, allowing one to sink a few cups in ruit before one sloppily attempts to sing with the chorus. It was clearly a match made in heaven, and it was only destiny that it would dominate the airwaves in late 2007 and early 2008. Nevertheless, those looking for awe-inspiring beats or deeper meaning behind a façade of empty words need to stay away from “Crank That.” Outside of catchiness and popularity, there is very little going for this song.

The other songs on “www.souljaboytellem.com” have absolutely no redeeming value. All of the songs feature a snippet of the lead single, and positively no original thought. While it may be a good thing to have recurring sounds/chord structure/instrumentals throughout an album (think Dark Side of the Moon or Paul’s Boutique), one absolutely cannot expect to extrapolate an entire CD based of off the whooping from “Crank That.”

For instance, the song “Snap and Roll” tells me to “snap and roll” eight times, and then tells me to watch Soulja Boy “snap and roll” eight more times, before saying another word. Then there are three choruses of the same kin, and a “bridge” that tells me to “snap or die” and a closing chorus.

This is followed by the modern classic “Bapes,” which discusses Soulja Boy’s choice in footwear. “I got me some Bathing Apes” is the tagline to this song, carefully placed in the same fashion as “Snap and Roll.” “Sidekick” also follows the same vein, except that in place of shoes Soulja Boy discusses his favorite cellphone brand.

“Let Me Get ‘Em” is an absolute disgrace. Here’s a sample:

Shoot!
Let me get em
Shoot!
Let me get em
Shoot!
Let me get em
Shoot!

Let me get em

Shoot!
Let me get em
Shoot!
Let me get em
Shoot!
Let me get em
Shoot!
Let me get em

Its time to do my dance,

Pullin up my pants,

Posted on the dance flo in my pimpin stance
It aint the same thang

Do my dance is a stinga,

You gotta rock smoothly and pull ya trigga finga.
Im wild on da dance flo,

Yea i got fans,

Im doin poole palace and dey lookin at my hands,
Im bout to do my dance,

But naww you cant stop that,

I crank my dance up and then i let my glock cock back.

If you’re wondering, there’s also no redeeming musical quality to this song either.

“Yahhh!” is another steaming pile. The criminial masterminds behind Soulja Boy’s existence tried to create another single out of this, but thankfully even the American public isn’t stupid enough to listen to this garbage. The song is essentially a group of shouts and “Yahhs!” and tells fans to “get out my (Soulja Boy’s) face.”

“Pass it to Arab” tells the listener that Soulja Boy is going to pass it to Arab. Notice a general trend here?

It also begs the question: Who the fuck is Arab?

Soulja Girl will probably be judged by anthropologists centuries from now as the leading impetus for the collapse of Western Civilization. It’s that bad. It starts with a simple piano progression, synths, and ooohs and ahhs from a rather untalented hack of an R&B singer. Remember the shouts of “YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!” from “Crank That”? They’re back, mixed in with the R&B vocals in the chorus. It ends with random yeahs, oohs, uhhs, and a rather bloated and toneless Soulja Boy droning “Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh” repeatedly.

There is no instrumental ability on this album. There are no real drums, bass, or guitars. Everything is synthesized, save the three chords on the piano in “Soulja Girl.” To say the least, to present and market an album of music without any music on it is an absolute tragedy. What the hell were the bigwig execs smoking when they decided to give this schmuck a record deal?

However, I would like to say that this album, unfortunately, is a brilliant reflection of modern American society and her values. The lyrical content on this album is a disaster. It’s vile, bitter, disgusting, and, to be frank, even lacks shock value. Just like American society, it’s violent, it’s horribly demeaning towards women, and it’s completely possession-possessed and materialistic to the nth degree. It couldn’t be more pertinent to 2008.

Of course, millions of people have subscribed to the lunacy and the nonsense of Soulja Boy. You may say that music is supposed to be fun and catchy, which it should be, but audio abortions like this should never come into being.

Honestly, I think listening to this album has induced a 10 point drop in my IQ.

Don’t waste your time listening to any of this.

Track (if you can call these tracks) Listing:

1. Intro
2. Crank That
3. Sidekick
4. Snap and Roll
5. Bapes
6. Let Me Get Em
7. Donk
8. Yahhh!
9. Pass It to Arab
10. Soulja Girl
11. Booty Meat
12. Report Card
13. She Thirsty
14. Don’t Get Mad

.5/5 = It’s that bad fellas. Give it to you ex-girlfriends.

BAM, THERE YOU HAVE IT!

If you are ever in need of a quick laugh, all you have to do is attend one of your college’s fraternity/Sorority parties. There, you will see a series of hilarious characters, the likes of which you don’t even see in movies. At these supposed parties, kids actually have the courage to a button-down shirt (buttoned all the way to the top) with beach shorts, and sandals. Take into consideration this was not a clown-themed party. If jocks trying to be prep weren’t enough, frat parties are also full of kids that could have easily been in The Revenge of the Nerds sequel, dressed as if he was straight outta Compton. It is truly amazing and amusing.

I don’t want even want to talk about the girls. Undone nails, flip-flops, jeans with college sweaters are the cool way to dress. Yea okay, only in America. If you have a girlfriend that does not take care of herself, you should consider helping her out. We all know how nasty it is to see that little red/pink spot in the middle of their toe nail. It’s disgusting. Let’s be honest, the basic tip for the guys is the hotter your girl friends look, the better your rep, so think twice before you allow your girlfriend to dress like she is going to sleep. I’m sorry, Mona. Your article was nice but you have to understand the bigger picture.

During the modern era, America (with the exception of NYC and some other places) has been the joke for having no culture or fashion. Since we know this not to be true, it is about time Americans started to get rid of the Burgers n’ Fries, the fat and easy chicks, and the lack of knowledge America has about the events that happen in the outside world. A clear example is Miss Teen USA (South Carolina).

My fellow Americans, next time you go shopping, try to buy something basic, a Polo (a collared-shirt), it does not have to be Ralph Lauren. Put on jeans, and some nice shoes, not some Reef sandals unless you live on the coast. Even then, the East Coast doesn’t have beaches. Its beaches are just large bodies of COLD water. For informal events such as small parties, movies, etc… jeans will always do. Don’t wears sports jerseys, or shirts (white tees) that go too low. You’re not a gangster, sorry. Like I said before, a collared shirt is always best, but a normal shirt, if it is nice can work, too. If you don’t know what is considered nice, try on the clothing and consult with a women before you purchase it. A few brands that I would recommend for a common event would be Diesel, Ralph Lauren, Express, Banana Republic, and my favorite, Armani Exchange. These brands are always in style. Some of their items cost a week’s pay, others cost $15 so do away with three Bic Mac’s. They won’t have as nice of an effect as Polo will.

Recommend: Polo Ralph Lauren Solid Mesh Big Pony Polo

Recommend: Armani Exchange City T-Shirt

In regards to shoes, dark shoes always tend to be better. Shoes tell a lot about a guy. You can tell that if a guy has those drawn black shoes, you know he is Emo. If a guy has Vans, he most probably is the skater type. Brands in shoes do not matter as much the brand of other pieces of clothing matters, it’s more their look and how they go with your style, meaning that the shoe you wear varies on your personality. No matter what your shoes should never be dirty. That is why I recommend darker color for shoes, even though white ones are fashionable, we are talking basics here. Also, if you are going to wear dress shoes, do NOT wear white socks. I don’t know what goes through one’s mind, but wearing WHITE socks with dress shoes and dress pants is absolutely ridiculous. Wear dress socks that match or come close to matching your pants or shoes! Let’s stop dressing like Bozo the clown, and start dressing more in a more human fashion, something that people can respect you for.

Recommend: Diesel Parandy Lace-Up Men

Recommend: Armani Indigo Wash Jean

Don’t get me wrong – you WILL gain muscle following my routines if you are eating a high protein/high calorie diet (as any athlete should). The difference is that we will not be focusing on the size gains. Again, my workouts are constructed so that my readers will gain strength and speed, not size. Size is Cameron’s specialty, not mine. My routines don’t tend to isolate body parts. I am not much of an auxiliary lifter. My routines are more focused on core movements.

Two last things to keep in mind before I detail my routines:

• Consume at LEAST 1 gram of protein per pound every day. (If you have a hard time getting in your protein, check out Optimum Whey)  Optimum 100% Whey Protein

• Eat complex carbs pre-workout, and a simple carb/high protein meal or shake post workout. Further diet tips will be included in future articles.

Before you get your workout started, I suggest hitting the treadmill or bike for a 5-15 minute warm up. Try to pick up some elastic bands such as these and warm up your rotator cuff. A warm up is crucial to staying injury free. If you need help perfecting your form for any of the listed exercises, use this site. Feel free to contact me if you need further assistance or clarification.

Day 1

Full Squats – 5 sets of 5

After two good warm up sets with light weight, you’re going to pyramid up in weight starting with roughly 50% of your one rep max. To calculate your 1 rep max, use a calculator such as this one.

50%, 60%, 70%, 80%, 85%

Push Press – 5 sets of 5

Same applies for the push press. 2 or so light sets before you begin adding weight. Use the same % as the full squat.

Dumbbell Bench Press- 4 sets of 10

Do 2-3 warm up sets, building up to a working weight of around 70% of your one rep max. Do four sets of ten.

Box Jump – 4 sets to failure

Find a box or a platform you can jump on to. Without stepping forward, jump onto the box and land before jumping back down. Continue jumping until you can’t do another rep.

Full squat to jump – 4 sets to failure

Squat down all the way and explode up. Continue to jump until you can no longer perform any reps.

Day 2

Deadlift – 5 sets of 5

After two good warm up sets with light weight, you’re going to pyramid up in weight starting with roughly 50% of your one rep max (To calculate your 1 rep max, use a calculator such as this one).

50%, 60%, 70%, 80%, 85%

Hang Clean – 7 sets of 2

Your entire body will be warm from the deadlifts, so a quick warm up set should do the job here. With the hang clean you’re going to want to pyramid up for 7 sets. Start a bit light and try adding 10% to each set. When you get to the last two sets, they should be maximum effort. If you can do more than 1-2 reps for these last sets, the weight is too light.

Stiff Leg Deadlift – 3 sets of 10

Your back will be exhausted. Pick a light weight and aim for a good stretch with decent resistance.

Bodyweight dips – 3 sets to failure

3 sets of as many as you can possibly do.

Long jumps with a medicine ball to sprint – 3 sets

Grab a 15 pound medicine ball and jump as far out as you can without taking any steps. Try to find a 40-60 foot straight area where you can jump forward. Once you reach the end, drop the ball, sprint to your original position and sprint back. Repeat.

Day 3

Overhead squat – 5 sets of 5

After two good warm up sets with light weight, you’re going to pyramid up in weight starting with roughly 50% of your one rep max (To calculate your 1 rep max, use a calculator such as this one(link)).

50%, 60%, 70%, 80%, 85%

Pullups – 3 sets of bodyweight to failure

Bent over rows – 5 sets of 5

Same principles applied from the OH squat.

Made up lunge jumps – 3 sets to failure

Not really sure what to call these, so I’ll let you visualize. Get into a lunge position-Quickly explode into the air and switch your feet position. You’ll start with your left leg forward and your right leg back. When you jump up the positions will be switched.

Day 4

Powerclean to front squat to jerk – 10 sets of 2

Start light. Powerclean the bar up, squat down all the way, come back up and perform a jerk. Add weight. Continue for 10 sets. If you hit a point where you can only perform 2 reps, keep that weight on and finish the 10 sets.

Box jumps with a medicine ball – 3 sets to failure

Grab a platform that is lower than the one you would normally jump on to, grab a light medicine ball, and perform box jumps. Try to increase the weight of the medicine ball each set.

Incline Bench Press – 3 sets of 10

Self explanatory

Dumbbell lunges across the gym – 2 times back and forth

Grab some dumbbells and lunge across the gym and back.

POSTWORKOUT

After every workout you should take 5 to 10 minutes to stretch out whatever body parts you worked that day.

I suggest that you train every other day. If you are in-season you will need the off-day to recover. If you are training during the off-season, do a lot of condition, sprints, and sports specific training during the “off” day. Until next time…

Recently, I went out of my way to survey many of my friends and female associates about what traits of their boyfriends bothered them the most. While I compiled a longgg list, I decided to share the Top 5 things they hated the most about their boyfriends. So if you read carefully you might just earn yourselves additional brownie points and, best of all, improve your relationship.

GIRLS HATE IT WHEN THEIR BOYFRIENDS ARE…

5. POSSESSIVE
“I hate it when my boyfriend constantly calls during girls’ night out”. - Tiffany, NC

It’s ok to call, but not excessively! Girls do not appreciate being smothered by their boyfriends when they’re out with their gal pals. Again, it’s not only rude and annoying to your girlfriend but it’s mostly impolite to her company. That’s where you don’t want to go wrong and show yourself as a jealous boyfriend (even though you think you’re just trying to check in with her). When girls hang out, more than 50% of the conversations will probably be about their boyfriends anyway. And, girls also pay careful attention to their gal pal’s opinions of their boyfriends and you don’t want to be in the “he’s not-a-good boyfriend” list because you were just too damn possessive. My suggestion is that you wait patiently until she gets home, that’s the perfect time to hold a meaty conversation about her night.

4. DISORGANIZED
“It drives me crazy whenever I came over to my boyfriend’s room, he wasn’t organized…he was always a mess!” - Katrina, Miami FL

You might not know it, but a clean and organized guy is extremely sexy to a woman. If you’re the messy type, you have a lot of cleaning up to do. If you’re the kind to bring your girlfriend home, then you should know that girls like coming home to a relaxing and NEAT environment. Don’t have a pile of laundry in your basket (or worse on your bed or the floor). Refrain from leaving shaved-hair in the bathroom sink as well. Throw away the garbage such as canned energy drinks/sodas and pizza boxes. If you use spray air-fresheners, try using a plug-in air freshener instead because the fragrance actually lasts and it does a great job getting rid of old sweaty clothes smell (especially if you’re athletic). Most importantly, make an effort to make your bed so it’s more exciting and enjoyable to rumple the sheets together. If you do this, guarantee, she’ll have a more pleasurable stay!

3. UNFOCUSED
“It would be nice if my boyfriend isn’t so distracted when he’s out with me. I just feel less important when he shows that he’s more dedicated to his cell phone” - Emily, NJ

When guys start texting or taking phone calls while out on a date (whether movies, dinner, or just hanging out), girls think to themselves “what could possibly be more important than being with me right now.” Guys almost always say, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you”. Is it so hard for guys to stay true to their word? Just put the damn phone on silent! Don’t pick it up when you know you can call the person back later. Again, it’s just rude and a major turnoff. If this is a habit of yours, you should really work on it. Your girlfriend might not tell you, but this is one of the things that truly annoy her. Basically when you choose to be distracted, you’re giving her the idea that you’re not as dedicated to her as you say you are. And if ever, there are texts or calls that are extremely urgent, remember, that we’re human beings. Kindly inform your girlfriend that you need to take the call, she’ll understand.

2. PLAYING/SURFING
“It hurts to know that I’m not that interesting to talk to since my boyfriend needs extra sources of entertainment while talking to me” - Ella, MA

There is nothing much more annoying than a guy who plays video games or surfs the internet while on the phone with his girlfriend. First of all, it is just plain rude. If you did not know already, girls love talking to their boyfriends. It is pretty much the highlight of our day. So it’s really insulting when you do not take their girlfriends’ calls seriously and think you can multitask just because you can’t be seen in person. We, girls, expect to have our men’s undivided attention when we call you. Secondly, girls ultimately sense it when you guys are doing something else while on the phone. We can tell the difference in the way you speak, notice a change in the sound of your voice, and when there’s just no energy or life to the conversation. Finally, it’s really a major turnoff when girls start to get bored of talking to their boyfriends. Remember, girls should always look forward to having a conversation with you. Anything short of that, you have a problem.

1. RESERVED
“I hate it when my boyfriend says nothing’s wrong just so he wouldn’t have to tell me anything.
I feel like he’s shutting me out when I should be the first person to he should run to”. -Diana, NY

What does having a girlfriend really mean to you? If it just means having someone to watch movies, have dinner , and to be blunt “sex” with, then I hate to say this but you’re not really in a healthy relationship. Let’s face it, there are instances when your girlfriend asks you “what’s the matter?” and you just shrug her off and say “nothing’s wrong, babe” when clearly something’s bothering you. Girls absolutely hate it when guys refuse to say what’s on their mind. When you’re in a relationship, you should not pick and choose what you share with your girlfriend. Girls are very emotional and sensitive beings. Open up your heart because they just want to be help and listen to your problems. You should not limit your experiences to just happy moments. Don’t be afraid to open up because your girlfriend is a great source of comfort other than your families. Believe it or not, a relationship grows stronger and much healthier during times of trials and tribulations because then, you’d learn just how much you can really trust her and see how much she cares.

Well, there you go! Take heed, boys…and MEN! Just because the title underlines GIRLS that doesn’t mean that this doesn’t apply to grown WOMEN.

XOXO.

An obvious downside to most electric vehicles on the market today is driving distance a single charge can output. However, the Roadster speeds past this industry fear as if it were a minor “road bump”. In fact, the Roadster flattens it. Tesla’s new ground-breaking battery as well as the Regenerative Braking allows the Roadster to travel more than two times farther than other electric vehicle available; over 200 miles on a single charge. Incredible, eh?

The Tesla Roadster’s Lotus-like body lines make for an eye-catching car, which is not only fun to drive, but also fun to look at, too. Another feature is the carbon fiber body which has an obvious impact on the overall weight of the Roadster.

The simplicity and engineering alone in the Tesla Roadster’s engine makes it worth the $109,000 price tag. A conventional, gas powered vehicle consists of hundreds of mechanical parts which all require some form of maintenance as the car ages. The revolutionary powertrain of the Roadster consists of only four components: the battery, motor (did I mention the motor weighs less than 150lbs and puts out 248HP?), the transmission, and the Power Electronics Module (PEM). As an electric car, electronics control many of the features of the car. This is where the PEM comes into play, acting as the system controlling the car.

The Tesla Roadster certainly can be seen as the most revolutionary idea to hit the automotive market since the beginning. However, since production is only in its earliest stages, and delivery to customers has yet to begin, reliability, performance, and efficiency are obvious concerns. However, in a world where miles per dollar is becoming more important, one can only hope that the successes of the early production Tesla Roadster are a sign for the changes it will bring to the automotive world in the future. Who could possibly turn down the fun you can have in the Tesla Roadster for only $.02/mile (and a $109,000 MSRP price)?

To reserve your Tesla Roadster today, visit the Tesla Motors website. While you wait for your Roadster to arrive, check out the video below.

There are certain times when I am prone to laughter. These times tend to arise when I experience an immense lack of sleep, when I watch something genuinely funny, or when I experience something terribly and emotionally damaging (like Two Girls, One Cup or more recently, Aliens vs. Predator). Fortunately, Portal is, in fact, genuinely funny. This game was so merciless in its humor that I was actually laughing in the middle of the day alone in my room (which never happens, and probably won’t happen again).

Portal is a first-person shooter-esque puzzle solving game developed by Valve that runs on the Source (wiki) engine. Most of the game is set in a round and bleached environment. Although Portal’s landscape of colors is not nearly as lively or as engaging as those landscapes in other Valve-developed games like HL2 or TF2, the same beautiful attention to detail and the same physics system still exist in this cleverly-crafted mind-boggler of a game.

Enough with the game summary and description, you say. What do portals have to do with all of this? I’m so glad you asked, let me explain.

Basically, there comes a point in the game where you obtain the portal gun (as if naming it anything else would have been too hard to swallow). It feels almost like the first time you got the Roc’s feather in Zelda that lets you jump over gaps and shit. Anyways, this gun that shoots either a blue or orange portal. Blue leads to orange and orange leads to blue. Simple, right? Valve makes sure to add a bunch of different twists to the puzzles to keep you guessing. This game basically makes you think about things you would never ordinarily think about, which is one of the reasons I like it so much.

Most people do not like puzzle games, but don’t let that dissuade you from buying this game. I, too, was once against playing puzzle games. Actually, I guess I sort of still am… Sudoku pisses me off so damn bad. I saw a Sudoku machine over at some rest stop, and had I not just emptied my bladder on a urinal, I would have not hesitated to lighten my load on the machine. I just can’t think of any puzzle game I actually like (other than Portal, of course). I mean, even though Resident Evil 2 was awesome, the puzzles still pissed me off. Given, I wasn’t really old enough to logically solve them, being partially color blind blows when you have to find random blue or green discs lying around to insert into some bullshit statue that leads the way to the left half of some moon/sun figurine that might open that locked door you passed six hours ago… if you can find the right half.

I suggest playing the game the whole way through in one sitting, and then trying to tackle the advanced maps at the end. Also, no matter how frustrated you get, try not to look online for tips, you will figure it out, and when you do it will probably be some ridiculous solution that you can’t find anywhere else. Once you’re done with everything, look on Youtube and check out how other people have done some of the puzzles. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, I’m sure. The video below is a video of my run through of advanced room 18, it’s the room I had the most trouble with so I thought it would be fun to share it with you all. Don’t watch this unless you’ve done the room on your own!

You can purchase Portal with the orange box package for $40 (highly suggested if you don’t have the games on the list, it’s a great buy), or just buy it separately for $20. You can also purchase this on the Xbox 360 if you are a fruitcake and own the system. Either way, this game is a gem that you don’t want to miss out on.

For those of you who have completed the game, share some of your puzzle completion methods, I’m curious. Also, if you want me to post any additional videos of how I solved any of the other puzzles just let me know.

There is also a free demo of Portal you can download if you have an nVidea graphics card. You can also obtain HL2:Deathmatch, HL2:Lost Coast and Peggle Extreme for free at the same place if you so wish to do so. Nothing too big for free though, unfortunately.

K peace.